Mother’s Day may not be a day of celebration for those who were not blessed with a loving, protective and generous mother. I will reveal in this post that I am one of those individuals who came into this world with a mother ( and father) who did not exhibit these blessed characteristics that are celebrated in honor of Mother’s Day. I was abandoned by this mother and I only celebrate and honor the loving grandparent that gave me a home and raised and loved me.
A woman who is a bully inflicts both physical as well as emotional abuse on both her spouse and her children. As noted in the photos above, her rage and dysfunctional behavior creates a horrific family environment. In defining her bullying, it is an act of physical and emotional aggression that results in long term or permanent injury to her victims. Abandonment of a child may be a very short term demonstration of bullying and abuse but, as revealed by someone who did experience a bully as a parent, such action does result in long term scars and emotional pain.
A mother who exhibits the following actions are indeed bullies who do need to be reported and provided
with mental health intervention;
Shaking a baby or toddler which does lead to brain damage
Drug or alcohol abuse during pregnancy which will effect the baby
Beating, slapping, kicking, pinching, pushing, pulling hair, and tossing a child
Additional forms of abuse that have been reported are denial of nourishment, preventing the child to
use the toilet or wash. Forcing the child to obey with the use of or threat of physical force and the
use of objects to inflict pain such as a belt or any other object have also been described as bullying and abuse.
Emotional abuse of a child is not easily identified but the results may last a lifetime. A mother may inflict emotional bullying by aggressive or passive aggressive behavior that creates humiliation and fear. She also exhibits such bullying towards her spouse as well who may not have the courage to challenge her destructive and dysfunctional actions. The following actions are examples of bullying and abuse;
Verbal threats, name calling,ignoring and neglecting, using foul language, humiliation in public, inciting conflict amongst family members, shouting, unreasonable and strict rules and, most hurtfully, telling the child that it would be better if they were never born. Similar messages are also directed towards the spouse as well. It should be noted that, although quite rare, mothers do sexual abuse their children although many readers could be in great disbelief.
What can be done to expose this living hell that many spouses and children are living in? First, the most influential and relevant individual to effect change is the husband and father who needs to find the courage to seek clinical support for his wife and children. Secondly, one of the victimized and strongest child needs to report his crisis to a school counselor or a trusted adult to find help for their siblings and parents. Lastly, if a family friend or relative is aware of the dysfunction in the family, they should offer the emotional support to the spouse to find the courage and the resources to disclose the abuse and bullying actions of his wife and seek help from Child Protective Services or a skilled clinician and licensed family therapist.
Perhaps future Mother’s Day celebrations may bring joy, peace and serenity to the female bully and her family. Behavioral change is possible for all who need to find happiness.
Please do let us hear your voice and what you are feeling on this topic.
My next post will introduce the topic of childhood bulling, both the perpetrator and the victim.