Month: March 2016

PARENTING BY GOD’S CREATURES

My heart was so touched by the sight today of “God’s Creatures”, eagle parents awaiting the birth of their two babies. Upon their arrival, the mother eagle blanketed the body of her babies with her warm feathers. Father eagle, while mother was nurturing their new babies, went out to search for fish to feed his new family. Their parental love was radiated in the photos depicting this beautiful family scene. Each parent was lovingly feeding the babies their meal.

In contrast to this loving scene, there are dysfunctional families in the human race, not amongst God’s Creatures, that abandon their newborns and starve and physically abuse their off spring. It is instinctual that God’s Creatures strive to care and protect their young. Some humans lack this intuitive ability to love and protect their children and organizations such as Child Protective Services must monitor the absence of the ability to nurture. God’s Creatures have no need for such supervisory services in the parenting of their off spring.

There appears to be little scientific knowledge on the differences in nurturing abilities between God’s Creatures and why some humans with higher cognitive abilities lack the ability to nurture and protect their young. Perhaps sometime in the future we will have a better understanding in replicating the strong nurturing instincts of God’s Creatures.

VICTIMS OF BULLIES WHOSE LIVES ARE DESTROYED

I am always shocked by the number of news stories and articles that I read verifies all of the statistics and predictions about victims of bullying. An article in a publication entitled, TIDEWATER TIMES, included an article, “Mariah’s Mission”, on a young woman who was subjected to bullying in her middle school years. As stated by her parent, “….going into middle school, some of the bullying started and I could see her struggling with anxiety and depression.” ” In high school, seeking shelter from the perfect storm of bullying , anxiety and depression, Mariah began self medicating with alcohol and prescription drugs.

This true story of the struggles associated with Mariah’s mission to seek a valid diagnosis for her emotional dysfunction, I am certain will sadden all who learn of this young woman’s life. In spite of her abuse at the hands of bullies, incorrect mental diagnosis and her need to numb the emotional pain with the use of alcohol and drugs, she did continue to  function academically and participated in school activities. However, as the years progressed, her emotional pain became too great and ultimately, Mariah did take her life. I do suspect that , as a psychologist, Mariah’s early abuse by school bullies did open her emotional  wounds and she continued to bleed since the pain and destruction of bullies did nothing to heal her wounds and they opened the doors to other destructive behavioral patterns.

As many victims of bullying, Mariah did not displace her pain on others but directed that rage upon herself.  Many victims of bullies, displace their anger and pain at innocent victims. It was documented that the perpetrators of Columbine kept diaries on how they were hurt and rejected by school bullies as did the Sandy Hook murderer who targeted young victims within the very same school building where he attended and was brutally abused by bullies for many years.

Knowledge is power and I would like to provide shocking statistics on bullying, this dysfunctional and lethal behavior;

70% of children suffer bullying at their schools or 38,500,000 victims

One half of suicides among young people are directly related to bullying

Bully victims are between two to nine times more likely to consider suicide than non-victims ( Yale University)

30% of students are either victims of bullies or bullies themselves

160,000 children stay home from school everyday for fear of bullying

Bully related suicide can be associated with any form of bullying: physical, emotional, cyberbullying, texting.

Since the 1990’s, there have been 12 to 15 school shootings related to perpetrators having been bullied as students.

Yes, these statistics are quite frightening but they can be altered by social and school interventions. Schools should be a safe place to learn and anti-bullying programs are relevant in the prevention of the loss of another life. Knowledge is power and children, parents and schools need to understand this violent and dysfunctional behavior.

As a psychologist and author, I have focused on my quest in addressing this bullying dilemma. My latest book, NICKI NICE’S BULLY, helps children understand bullies and their behavior and how to deal with these frightening classmates. My website, nicknicesbully.tateauthor.com does provide much information about this book which empowers children to protect themselves from bullies.

BULLIES AND HOW THEY EFFECT LIVES

If a survey were taken on the existence of a bully in our lives, including adulthood, I believe that we each had to deal with such a bully who provoked much pain and suffering in our lives. What is the definition of a bully? It is defined as a form of aggressive behavior in which someone intentionally and repeatedly causes another person injury and discomfort. Bullying can take the form of physical contact, words or more subtle actions. The victim of a bully typically has trouble defending themselves and does nothing to provoke the abuse. Bullying occurs in schools, workplaces, homes and playgrounds. As noted in current media reports, the violence that has been reported in our schools have been inflicted by those victims of of earlier abuse themselves and are displacing their anger upon innocent victims, children as well as adults. Over 3.2 million students are effected by bullying each year and 17% of child victims report bullying two to three times a month.

As an author and psychologist , I have focused my quest on addressing and reducing this bullying dilemma in our society. My latest book, NICKI NICE’S BULLY, is one in a children’s series on the topic of bullying in our schools. The main character, Nicki, describes to young readers what a bully does, why and how to change this frightening behavior. To learn more about this book, I do invite you to visit my website, nickinicesbully.tateautor.com Knowledge is power and sharing this book with a child would be a gift of love.

It is hoped that you will share with me, “what’s your feeling” about bullies and if you have been a victim or, perhaps, witnessed this violent behavior as a child or an adult. I will be posting more blogs on this topic on facts and media reports on bullying.