The emotional and physical traumas of victims of a Pedophile’s abuse.

As noted in my last Blog, I will be providing crucial information on the emotional and physical damage that a pedophile inflicts upon their victims. Child sex abuse can result in both short term and long term harm to a child including psychopathology in later life. The following emotional disorders are evident either immediately or later on in their development;   Depression , significant anxiety, eating disorders, poor self esteem, sleep disturbances and post traumatic stress syndrome. Some children may regress in their behavior such as thumb sucking and bedwetting. Others may act out their sexual violation by sexually acting out and exhibiting inappropriate sexual knowledge and interest. These violated children may withdrawn from school and school activities and demonstrate learning and behavioral problems, attention deficit disorder and defiant oppositional disorder. Teenage pregnancy and risky sexual behaviors may appear during adolescent. Children who have been sexual abused are four times as likely to engage in self inflicting harm to themselves.

The social stigma of sexual child abuse may compound the psychological harm to children They experience shame and peer abuse and bullying associated  with community knowledge of this sexual assault . Hence, blaming the victim. Adverse outcomes are less likely for sexually abused children who have a supportive and compassionate family system.

The treatment for these abused victims is family therapy, individual therapy and medication. The prognosis for recovery can be successful if the effects of this abuse is acknowledged and addressed and precautions are taken to prevent such a violation to occur again. Victims of sex abuse have lost their trust for others and need to be part of a treatment plan. Victims may not trust themselves and they bare the guilt for their victimization and feel like “damaged goods”. A common behavioral reaction is overly sexualized behavior. Victims may dress and act in a sexual manner even if they are children. Sexualized behavior  effects their life negatively and can attract repeated, unwanted pedophile attention. All of these behavioral dysfunctions can be addressed through regular therapy and possible medication.

What is being done to eradicate this horrific crime? The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child is an international treaty that legally obliges states to protect children’s rights. States are required to protect children from all forms of child sexual abuse and sexual exploitation . This treaty protects children all over the world. However, such legislation can only be effective if pedophiles are reported and incarcerated .

Grooming Children: Weapons for Pedophiles


As noted in my last Blog, I did describe and define pedophiles , “sexual predators on the playground” that parents need to be aware of. I also planned on providing the techniques and tools that these predators use to capture their prey utilizing the weapon of GROOMING.

As noted in Gregory Weber’s article, this process of capturing a victim on the playground is entitled Grooming. It increases the pedophile’s access to his victim and decreases the likelihood of discovery. Anna Salter, a respected psychologist and an expert in the field of child sexual assault describes this formula to capture a pedophile’s prey. ” The establishment (and eventual betrayal) of affection and trust occupies a central role in the child predator’s interactions. The grooming process often seems similar from offender to offender, largely because it takes little to discover that emotional seduction is the most effective way to manipulate children.”

Grooming is a process and it begins when the pedophile chooses a target area. He may visit places where children are likely to be found; schools, shopping malls, playgrounds, parks and social functions as a malicious guest.

Victim selection and recruitment are next but there is no prototypical victim of child sex abuse. Any child of any age can be victimized but usually children with needs are targeted. A child who feels unloved and unpopular will soak up adult attention like a sponge. Children with family problems , who spend time alone  and unsupervised and those who lack confidence and self esteem and are isolated from their peers are all likely targets.

Pedophiles engage or recruit their victims in different ways. Many use a combination of forced teaming and charm. They may offer to play games, give rides or buy gifts as tokens of friendship. They may offer drugs or alcohol to older children to lure them further in satisfying their sexual needs. They almost always offer a sympathetic , understanding ear to hear all of their complaints and problems that parents have failed to listen to. They will acknowledge that parents do not understand them, or respect them, but I do. Other kids make fun of you, parents don’t trust you and they don’t want you to grow up. These pedophiles profess to trust them, love them, respect them and care for them more than anybody else. They may profess their love and appeal to their level of guilt not to report them because they could go to jail. Yes, these predators do take the time to seduce their prey and do not attack impulsively.

Pedophiles will introduce secrecy at some point during the grooming process. Initially, secrecy binds the victim to him. He directs the victim not to tell friends because they will be jealous and, most of all, don’t tell your parents. Secrecy then turns into threats, “If you tell your parents, they will hate you, it will kill them or I will kill them or you.”

Emotional bonding and grooming will lead to physical contact. Pedophiles utilize the grooming process to break down a child’s defenses and increase the child’s acceptance of sexual contact. Premature stimulation of sexual feelings may occur since cognitive development of decision making has not yet evolved in a child particularly below the age of thirteen. The pedophile breaks down inhibitions and this leads to more sexual experiences and intercourse, the predator’s ultimate goal.

In conclusion, as noted by Gavin De Becker in his article, the best way to recognize grooming behavior is to pay attention to your child and the people in their life. Children require the protection of adults from adults. Their fear of people and their intuition is not yet fully developed and nor filled with information and experience to keep them from harm. Yes, parents have many demands in their lives but nothing is more important that the safety and welfare of our children. When we blindly surrender responsibility for our loved ones such as incompetent caregivers or even the schools who do not, at times, report the absence of a child at school in due time,  we invite trouble.

Most importantly, please talk to your little angels and teach them to recognize grooming behaviors. Teach them to trust you with their problems and their pain not a predatory stranger. The safest child does have a close bonded relationship with their parents and distrust for strangers.

In my next Blog, I will discuss and share the symptoms of sexually violated children , the healing process and an understanding of the emotional functioning of pedophiles. Do share with us on








PARENTS: Beware of the Sexual Predator on the Playground!


Yes, your child may be the object of sexual predators who frequent the social gathering sites of children! They are searching for their prey to entice and capture by their skillful methods. These perpetrators are hunters finding innocent children to lure them into their sexual dens of perverted satisfactions of their obsessive needs to violate the bodies of these precious children.

Yes, do take heed because these sexual predators are lurking in locations where your little angels congregate particularly if they are in the age group of 10 to 13 years of age. Let me begin with the startling statistics that have been reported. During the year of 2012, there were 69,939 cases of child sexual abuse reported and in the following four years, the numbers may have risen. It should be noted that the key word in these statistics is “reported cases” and not calculated are the number of cases that are yet to be recognized and treated. According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics National Criminal Victimization Survey, in 2012, there were 346,830 reports of rapes of persons 12 years or older.  In essence , at least 20% of  victims are females. Only about 10% of perpetrators are strangers to the child.In my next blog on this subject, I will provide information on who these sex offenders are and how they use the technique of Grooming their victims.

The formal definition of child sex abuser is when an adult uses a child for sexual stimulation and engages in sexual activities by pressuring his victim to comply with his sexual demands. Most child sexual abuse is committed by men and 60% are perceived by the child as an acquaintance .

The word, “pedophile” is commonly applied to anyone who sexually abuses a child for sexual gratification.The American Psychological Association states that “children cannot consent to sexual activity with adults.” ” An adult who engages in sexual activity with a child is performing a criminal and immoral act which never can be considered normal or socially acceptable behavior.”

A recent sexual assault by a pedophile to a child that is close to me did correlate with all of the facts and statistics provided in this blog and he utilized the technique of Grooming his victim which I will describe in my next blog. This pedophile , photographed above, who is twenty years old ,befriend a child of thirteen and, in spite of his age, was accepted within her peer group. He gained her trust and met her needs of companionship, unending compliments and his trust. The use of alcohol was introduced and encouraged in order to uninhibited her impulses. After his seduction , he did caution her against revealing his actions and attempted to sever parent bonding. It should be noted that a child’s cognitive brain development and the development of mature decision making is not fully evolved at that young age and an adult can, indeed, manipulate and provoke inappropriate behavior.

This victim of  statutory rape was also raped of her privacy and reputation by her local newspaper who assigned a staff reporter to attend the trial of this pedophile and used the incomplete contents of the police report to write her article . Unfortunately, this reporter presented this child as a consensual sex partner and did not report on the fact that this pedophile also committed other sex crimes, one with a twelve year old boy. She blamed the victim and this child was depicted as a slut without parental supervision. As a result of public knowledge of the unnamed victim who was identified by community gossip and the news article, was traumatized and chopped off all her gorgeous hair . Her mother was ostracized and berated by other parents in her social environment and labeled an unfit mother who did not supervise her daughter. These accusations were most untrue if one truly knew the social history of this family and child. Yes, the media  also assaulted this victim of sex abuse by not reporting the story in it’s entirety.

Please do read my next blog in which I will provide facts and information on the Grooming techniques of pedophiles, the emotional damage that victims exhibit and how parents can protect their children from this heinous crime.