CHILD SEX ABUSE: PLEASE DON’T BLAME . THE VICTIM .

Please do not call this beautiful, tearful victimized child a slut, a pervert or a sex object, names that fathers,  bullying classmates and others have labeled children who are the sex objects, rather than human beings, of pedophiles. I am basing this blog on a real victim of this horrific sex crime that occurs regularly and society blames the victim unless she has been bruised, bloodied and batterer by her predator. This victim was not violently attacked but “Groomed” by the pedophile, a well practiced technique to capture their prey. In my next blog, you will be provided with astounding statistics on the frequency of this crime.

What is this thing called “Grooming” ? Pedophiles will locate a site such as a school yard and observe and target his next victim based on his  innate sense of observing behavioral  clues indicating patterns of loneliness, peer rejection and, of course, sexual attractiveness and appeal. This victim, of which I speak, is an exceptionally attractive, mature,  very young teen with a warm and trusting behavioral characteristic.  During the grooming process, the pedophile will befriend his victim as well as those who surround her but keeps his “eye on the prize”, the victim.  Fake trustworthiness is developed in which he  secretly ,subtly and gradually escalates to a level of intense trust and friendship with his prey. Boundaries  are tested and risks are taken in moving in for the kill by entering her social circles such as crashing a social event amongst other befriended children. The introduction of drugs and alcohol can be another weapon in capturing his prey and provoking uninhibited behavior. It should be noted that a pedophile, who maintains the appearance so close in age to his victim and her peers, utilizes this as distinct advantage and may precipitate a romantic relationship in order to seduce this child into a new and inexperienced world of sex. A youthful, attractive photo of this particular pedophile has appeared in an earlier blog on this topic after his capture by the police. Indeed, a mature man is seducing a child with a brain that is not completely developed to understand and formulate the judgement for such actions.

In addition to the introduction of drugs and alcohol to a child, pedophiles may use pornographic materials, love messages, photos and  enticing notes for his victim. Ultimately, this perpetrator had captured his prey, introducing  sexual experiences and most of all , used his emotional weaponry , using bullets of fake love, social acceptance, compassionate understanding and ego enhancing strategies to debilitate his prey. Most children who are victims of child sex abuse are desperately  seeking the love and support that is not provided within the family. They are hungry for someone to adore them, listen to them and provide them with total attention and  ego validation that they so need but are denied. This pedophile did fulfilled all of these dreams with insincere love , sexual attention and excitement into an empty and lonely life. Now, this pedophile will go in for the kill and capture his prey, one of many that this primitive hunter has  destroyed.

This story does not end happily since the child instinctually feels the discomfort of this unnatural relationship and the pedophile uses his ultimate bullet to destroy the victim. He uses his weapons of guilt, fear and threats to “bullet proof” his crime. In this story, the victim appears to have suffered from the “Stockholm Syndrome” in which an innocent  prey tends to identify with her captor. She begins to develop strong feelings of false love and attachment and the need to obey his directives related to his self protection if ever discovered by the authorities. This perpetrator did have a history of serial sexual abuse since the prior victim was a ten year old, male family member and, hence he  understood well the consequences of being captured rather than  that of his prey.

Due to the love and support of a devoted mother ,as opposed to a father that displaced his  rage and anger on his daughter in labeling her “slut”, this child did find the courage to assist the police in locating and arresting this pedophile. She, indeed, protected potential victims from this evil demon who, as clinical research documents, will repeat his crime and hunt for yet other victims. Unfortunately, our legal system protects the perpetrator and not the victim by sentencing this criminal and rapist to under two years in prison with a lifetime of emotional imprisonment of the victim. Yes, he will be released  shortly and begin his hunting and grooming activities once again. Parents, do beware! There are thousands of demons just like this sexual hunter in your child’s world.

In my next articles on this topic, I will share with you the symptoms and suffering of children who are victims of sex abuse as well as share my research on the  statistics of this crime and, importantly, the  prevention of this horrific crime. Do share your feelings on this blog and let me hear your voice!