A Village of Awareness Saves Lives


As noted in a number of articles that I have written as well as a book (franwhiteauthor.com) and countless blogs on the topic of bullies, fatalities have continued on an epidemic level due to the absence of knowledge, immediate actions and the assessment of anti-bullying programs.

I have described a prescription for this lethal epidemic of mass shootings by victims of bullies who are displacing their rage on others. An immediate dosage of KNOWLEDGE on the description of a bully, ACTION or a prepared plan to take place immediately after the tragedy and deaths and an ASSESSMENT of the program or intervention provided to measure it’s effectiveness to cure the epidemic. I frequently use the term, “Village” which describes the educational institution, the governmental organization, the geographic location and, most of all the unit of the family.

Knowledge on the definition, behavior  and identification of a bully is crucial. Action needs to take place immediately upon a shooting not weeks later with the assignment of competent clinical personnel to treat those effected by the tragedy. In an ideal world or village, competent clinical personnel should be assigned to schools to identify those future murderous individuals and victims of the bullies within the school or “village”. Lastly, programs and personnel need to be evaluated and assessed to determine the effectiveness of anti-bully interventions and the identification of dysfunctional students.

Upon my review of our current tragedy that just occurred at Santa Fe High School, Texas, ten deaths and ten wounded could have been prevented if that school and most others had “vaccinated” their village against this fatal epidemic of bullies and dysfunctional students with dosages of KNOWLEDGE, ACTION and ASSESSMENT.

As noted by the “red flags” that so few administrators, educators as well as students were knowledgable of ,the signs that contributed to that murderous day. The absence of knowledge on bullies and emotionally dysfunctional  students was quite evident in the statements of the governor of the state of Texas, Greg Abbott, in which he declared that” the suspect had offered few clues  that he would carry out a massacre of such scale.” He acknowledged that the suspect’s Facebook page did reveal his shirt which read, BORN TO KILL. Do note the photo that accompanies this article. The governor did say that the suspect had  shared information about the shooting on both his cell phone and on his computer. Due to the fact that this student did not have a criminal record, “these red flag signs were either nonexistent or impossible.” In addition to the absence of knowledge on bullying and emotionally dysfunctional students, government officials, the school administrators and students lack the ability to identify this murderer of ten, Dimitrios. It was reported that, due to the brutal bullying of Dimitrios’s younger sister, she had to transfer to another school. He was also a victim of bullying by not only his peers but by his football coaches who stated,” He stunk, smelled like cr_p.”

Other signs that were ignored in addition to the bullying that he and his sister had to endure, Dimitrios, as reported by his peers, wore his signature trench coat and military boots in spite of the heat and humidity of Texas. He did wear this attire, including his BORN TO KILL shirt on the day of the shooting. Observant and ignorant fellow students jokingly commented that he “looked just like the Columbine shooters!” While in Junior High School, Dimitrios was an honor student , dressing appropriately but, as noted, this decline in academic performance was not noticed nor addressed  by his teachers at the High School .Authorities reported that Dimitrios wrote on his online journals about his plans to attack the school and then turn his gun on himself.

This Texas “village”, indeed, lacked the ability to take the first step in preventing the deaths of innocent students and teachers. KNOWLEDGE  on the effects of bullying  and how it impacts upon dysfunctional students who displace their rage was not imparted to students nor adults. Upon further research, there appeared to be little  ACTION in developing any prevention programs and clinical personnel to diminish the disease of  “bullism” in response to the number of other fatal outbreaks that have occurred in the country. ASSESSING any programs or clinicians within this “village” is clearly non-existent since the first step or dosage had yet to be applied to prevent this epidemic of violence and death.

I do pray that my local school will never be the site of yet another tragedy which can, indeed, be prevented by our own “villages” in saving  the lives of our children using a vaccine of KNOWLEDGE, ACTION and ASSESSMENT.

The Sounds of Racism: Charlettsville, Va. The Lyrics: “You have to be Carefully Taught to hate and fear!”



The sounds of Racism resounds in the image above and if we add lyrics to this depiction of rage and racism, the following words from the production, SOUTH PACIFIC, could  accompany the horrific concerto that was  heard :

You’ve Got to Be Carefully Taught  as sung by Ensign Cable in his role as the conflicted lover of a young Polynesian girl in Rogers and Hammerstein’s  production of SOUTH PACIFIC;

“You’ve got to be taught to hate and fear. You’ve got to be taught from year to year.”

These very enraged people in the photo, members of the KKK and other supporters of racism have been carefully taught to hate and fear others of different races, facial features , religion  and sexual orientation. They are demonstrating a legacy passed on to them from their parents, grandparents, great grandparents and on and on in the family tree.

Racism cannot be eradicated by legislation nor the destruction of Confederate statues and monuments since these beliefs are so ingrained into the soul and collective unconscious of these racists. Only through their awareness of such destructive beliefs and the motivation ,on the part of the racist, can this cancerous, destructive and hateful legacy be finally destroyed. This is a daunting and, perhaps, an unrealistic expectation since racist are so conditioned to believe and follow the expectations of generations of their families who have rewarded their behavior with love and encouragement.

Perhaps, if some of those photographed racists would be aware of the destruction of lives impacted by their irrational behavior and subsequently take ownership of the death of that beautiful young woman in Virginia who was attempting to  peacefully change their generational  beliefs, their hate and fears. This quest to eradicate this embedded cancer of racism appears to be almost impossible since this evil has been with us since the beginning of time when human enslavement did accompany racist ideology and this identical evil  was exhibited in the concerto of rage orchestrated in Charlettesville, Virginia.

The cure for this social cancer is for each one of us to attempt to peacefully and cleverly teach, one racist at a time, one despicable  deed at a time, not to fear and hate. Yes, this is a monumental task to “unteach” generational ideology and  emotionally imbedded beliefs . We must first examine our own beliefs, words and actions that may reflect unconscious suggestions of racism inherited from our own family of origin. Next, we must target those in our social or professional circles and gently open the channels of awareness within these observed and identified racists. Change in behavior will never occur unless one is aware of that action or belief and is sincerely motivated to eradicate such offensive and destructive actions. The motivation to change that behavior which deeply offends you is dependent on the value that racist places on your friendship or professional association. Indeed, this is a daunting , overwhelming and highly time consuming task but street demonstrations and  protesting is risky and does not effectively change one racist at a time for a cumulative elimination of racism.

In my next blog, I will reveal my own actions to stem the violent, strong tides of racism and perhaps provide additional ideas to add to your arsenal in the war against racism. As my Blog is entitled, , I do want to know your feelings and reactions to thi and would appreciate hearing your voice. blog.franwhiteauthor.com

The Explosive Cart Before the Mental . Health Horse

It was not the firearms that killed those innocent, seventeen Florida victims but the mentally disturbed individual who pulled the trigger! In addition to Nickolas Cruz and his automatic weapons, those who ignored all of the red flags of his disturbed behavior over many years enabled this tragedy to occur. The school administrators, who swept this boy under the rug by expelling him without community supervision and sent him into further solitude and isolation to fester his rage, can be perceived as most responsible for these murders. The most guilty accomplices of this crime are the so called mental health clinicians who failed to provide this emotionally disturbed youth with the mandatory  in -patient treatment that was so needed. His deceased, adoptive mother, due to her deep love of this boy, enabled his disturbed behavior by not facilitating hospitalization  after over forty police visitations to the home before she died. Our government agencies, who are employed to protect citizens, are also most responsible for ignoring all of the social media postings and warnings from Nickolas and others due to profound incompetence.

Nickolas was a victim of bullies throughout his young life and this form of behavioral cruelty provoked the rage and depression of this child. Indeed, he was not a personable and acceptable person amongst his peers but where was the compassion of others to notice the pain and suffering that Nickolas was experiencing especially last November when he lost his only parent who provided unconditional  love? His fellow students chose to isolate and ridicule him and failed to actively and loudly alert their teachers and administrators of this dysfunctional peer. Indifference and Denial are the sins of those who failed to previously respond to this tragic event.

Are we only going to direct our political focus  upon gun control laws, the believed explosive cart that the government and their constituents are targeting as the driven force that is responsible  for these horrific deaths? Gun control laws alone will not eliminate any further  school massacres but the most relevant intervention that will prevent the loss of so many of our children is competent and well trained mental health professionals working in our schools and identifying  troubled and disturbed children at an early age. School personnel  need to be properly trained, not armed, in the identification and management  of emotionally troubled students. Anti- bullying programs need to be part of and perfected in all school curriculums with a focus on incorporating  character development programs such a Character Counts with a focus on teaching  and reinforcing compassion and kindness to others by students, teachers, administrators and, of course, parents.

Let’s not place the cart of gun control before the horse of mental health intervention! NOW is the time to act and not after we have another precious child die due to the sins of Denial and Indifference.

The Chiming Alarm of the ADHD School Bell May be Heard!

As noted by so many parents in the support group that I provide clinical advice, their most urgent issue is that first phone call or text message of the year from their child’s teacher! It may be a call from the principal’s office regarding a disciplinary issue or from a teacher who can no longer tolerate the twitching and running around the classroom and distracting other children from learning as well as her well developed lesson plan interrupted by that noisy child!

Every parent with an ADHD child prays that when they say farewell to their precious angel who is eagerly boarding the yellow school bus, this will be a good year. Some believe that their child has had a great, active summer and has outgrown that disruptive behavior that last years impatient teacher could no longer tolerate. Unfortunately, if a child has been clinically diagnosed as ADHD, this condition will accompany the eager, happy student on the school bus and into the classroom. An experienced teacher will immediately spot this over-energized child who cannot sit still or focus on the lesson being presented no matter how much the child seeks to please and win the admiration of this parent figure. Any form of teacher discipline or the denial of recess, which is the most ridiculous form of punishment since this child needs to release that restrained energy level, will change this classroom misbehavior. If this is a true seasoned teacher, inservice instruction and graduate studies should have provided a clear understanding of the symptoms of ADHD and how to instruct this child. Unfortunately our teacher education programs do not provide adequate training on learning differences and the attitude that prevails is that a teacher must focus on the other twenty-five students who are willing to learn and behave not a” problem ” child.

Hence, RING-A-DING ,the school alarm bell is contacting the parent to do something about this child who refuses to learn and pay attention! What does a parent do? Punish, spank this child who has embarrassed the family or home school the child and hope that this problem disappears? None of the above because both the parent and the school own this neurological problem. Your little angel did not come into this world to make so many people miserable, most of all himself! Yes, I am clinically attributing ADHD to the mis-fired neurons in the brain of these children. No, they are not brain damaged but,as in the color of their beautiful eyes, they inherited a neurology (neuro-chemical) that does require medicinal intervention to function, not unlike epilepsy.  This is a genetic predisposition that the child’s father, mother, siblings and grandparents may have and, perhaps, never clinically diagnosed or treated. Indeed, ADHD is a neurological condition that a child does not outgrow but will ultimately learn to manage as a teen and an adult. Parents of ADHD children are in it for the long term and must learn all that they can about this condition. They must be a parent advocate in every grade level at school, educate teachers and administrators about their child’s needs and seek clinical and, at times, legal advocates to demand a proper education for their child. Most of all, these parents need to find and indulge in counseling support for themselves, a place to vent, find compassion and others in a support group. I can only provide my own experience as a licensed clinician and, most of all, a parent and grandparent of children and adults with ADHD. The benefits of giving birth to these little angels is that most ADHD children arrive with a high IQ, are not physically disabled or mentally retarded and do become loving family members if provided with unconditional love and nurturance.

I will continue this series on ADHD with more information on the next topic of school programs and learning strategies. Please do let me hear your voice and your questions .


As noted by the numerous articles that I have written on a multitude of topics I will be devoting a significant number of articles on the topic of ADHD, a subject very close to my heart and to my family. I have been presented with so many questions, concerns and urgent requests for information and advice on the issues associated with the sweet angels of these distraught parents. It should be noted that I frequently refer to children as “angels” because they are God’s gift to all of us. It should also be noted that, as a clinician, I never refer to any learning difficulty as a “disability” but as a learning DIFFERENCE. The term disability defines such learning styles as a negative,  a handicap, a deficit not a different approach or strategy in seeing and coping with the world.

I will attempt to respond to the many topics presented to me on an abbreviated level and in future, consistent articles, provide a more comprehensive discussion of each topic. Parents have questioned the diagnosis of ADHD, the need for medication, usefulness of special diets, acquiring school support in the form of 504 programs and IEPs, early diagnosis and the predisposition for this condition.

I will be providing a more in depth definition of ADHD but the Mayo Clinic description describes this disorder as a chronic condition that affects millions of children and often continues into adulthood. This condition is exhibited by a combination of persistent problems such as difficulty sustaining attention, hyperactivity and impulsive behavior. These children also struggle with low self esteem, troubled relationships and poor performance in school. I would like to comment that this renown medical establishment does, indeed, document the existence of this condition while a few doctors believe that this condition does not really exist.  I will be responding this this conflictual view in later articles.

On the topic of school/classroom management by teachers, unfortunately so many of our teacher preparation programs of study do not provide adequate training and information on learning differences as represented by at least ten percent of the children in their classrooms. Therefore, academic interventions such as 504 and IEPs are crucial for children with learning differences. The 504 program that many parents have referred to is not a mandated learning commitment on the part of the school but it does provide a child with academic but temporary support. An IEP is a long term, legal, binding contract between the parent, school district and the federal government with consequences if the specific intervention programs are not followed. I will expand on this topic in future articles.

As noted in the Mayo Clinic definition of ADHD, this condition does persist into adulthood and , yes, there are ADHD parents as well as children. This neurological condition is a genetic predisposition and is passed on throughout generations. Early detection, observation and intervention is crucial in order to help those little angels to learn and make friends before they experience long term peer rejection and academic failure. More to come on this profound topic!

On the topic of medication, I do not advocate any specific mediation nor force parents to choose this method of intervention. However, since this is a neurological condition, only medication can address and facilitate those neurons that do not fire appropriately, the cause of ADHD. It should be considered that if a child had diabetes or epilepsy, there would be no question in the prescription of medication. It is always recommended that a healthy diet filled with fruits and veggies with minimal sweets will benefit any child but nutrition does not completely facilitate neuro-electrical brain activity. More to come on this extensive subject.

It does take a most loving, persistent and warrior parents to nurture and protect those little angels of ADHD. I must be honest and reveal that this learning and behavioral difference is not curable nor will a child ,who is accurately diagnosed, will out grow this condition. In future articles, I will provide more information, KNOWLEDGE IS POWER,( a personal motto )and supportive strategies to manage and love your angels so much more.

Please do provide your feedback and suggestions for future discussions.



Family Secrets: A Reality Sequel

FAMILY SECRETS: A JOURNEY OF GOOD AND EVIL was published over four years ago and has received favorable reviews as noted on both the Amazon and Facebook sites. My purpose in writing this blog is not to promote or market this book but to share with my readers the “sequel of reality” surrounding this publication. Most of my blogs have been highly clinical and informational and it was noted, by my dedicated readers , that I do need to become more personal , divulge my feelings and expose my heart for all to see as well as  switch hats from clinician to survivor. My recent mentor, Alan Eisenberg, Bully Recovery founder and a podcaster of Health University invited me as a guest on his podcast and encouraged me to share my heart and voice in this internet interview on the topic of bullies and in this  published  blog.

FAMILY SECRETS was a therapeutic tool for me to revisit my past as well as to reach out to victims of discrimination and the bullies in this world that inflict deep wounds and effect the life of their victims. There are many forms of bullying such as wife abusers, parent abusers , workplace bullies, members of the KKK, past and present political and world leaders as well as the school/playground bully. My own wounds are deep, painful and still throbbing in spite of the number of decades that has passed and the clinical knowledge and expertise that I do possess. Yes, there are many kinds of bullies in this novel which has contributed to my quest to diminish “bullyism” by shouting the logo, KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!  Sharing my own story may enlighten victims to become survivors . The following blog is an unfinished sequel to a story of abandonment, racism, and the pain inflicted by bullies upon victims with the belief that they  ” have the power to hurt those who appear weaker”, a broad definition of bullies and tends to apply to anyone who is suffering at the hands of uncaring perpetrators who lack  a conscience .

Let me begin to share the history of my book and how it still haunts me now and deepens the wounds that were inflicted so long ago. Only two weeks after this book was released by my publisher, I received a message on my office phone answering machine from my long lost sister, Susan, a major character in my book. She fled from my life and family upon a very brief visit to America over forty years ago. FAMILY SECRETS does provide information on her reasons for this visit and her emotional resentment of her biological sister,  the father who abandoned her as well as the paternal grandparents who could not legally adopt her. She did find me, once again, by searching my professional ( psychological) associations membership guide and reached my office number, leaving an urgent message that our mother had just died. The lyrics of ” The wicked witch is dead” ran through my mind and may also have echoed into my sister’s as well. This significant event did result in yet another reunion which resulted in a most joyful two weeks with me and my hostessing of Susan’s two half siblings and her niece whom she had never met. Instantaneous bonding resulted and treasured memories were created from this family reunion with genuine tears and strong hugs upon Susan’s departure at the airport. Immediate plans were made for a reciprocal reunion  the following summer in London to meet her immediate family. Within days of firming up plane reservations and accommodations, an email was received from Susan directing that all plans should be canceled since this reunion would not occur. Of course, I was stunned,  emotionally devastated and quizzical as to the reason for this decision and I proceeded to call, email and send letters to her looking for a reason for this yet another abandonment of me, replicated by a mother and a father early in life.

It has been almost four years since this traumatizing incident with phone calls,  letters and emails also sent to those other siblings who participated in that joyous reunion begging for support in providing answers to this mysterious rejection. It was learned earlier that my half sister had joined Susan on an number of Alaskan cruises and Susan  flew into my country and over my home state to participate in sibling family events without contacting her biological sister who professed her love and confusion about her decision to abandon me. I have since declared my emancipation and rejection of  this family and those who chose to abandon me in my quest to find an answer to my burning question, WHY? Time is of the essence in my life as a seventy plus woman,  a three time cancer survivor and, unfortunately, I will have to wait until my time comes when only the Lord will give me the answers to this family secret as well as the unanswered “family secret” described in FAMILY SECRETS: A JOURNEY OF GOOD AND EVIL.

As I always conclude in my blogs with the request that you please do let me hear your voice and your feelings regarding this topic, this most personal story of my life.


Treatment and Prevention of Child Sex Abuse; Knowledge is Power!

As reported in my last blog articles, the statistics are frightening in the number of children that are sexual abused by pedophiles. I did report on these numbers as well as the dysfunctional behavioral patterns exhibited by the victims of this horrific crime. Sexually abused children may develop the following behavioral dysfunctions;
– Unusual interest in or the avoidance of all aspects of a sexual nature
– sexual acting out on other children
– Unusual disclosures focusing on their genitals
– Depression and withdrawal from friends and family
– Excessive anger, rage and oppositional behaviors
– Soiling or wetting problems
– Sleep problems and nightmares
– Seductiveness or sexually abnormal behavior
– Resistance to school and a decline in academic performance
– Excessive masturbation

Sexually abused children and their families as well need an immediate professional evaluation and treatment of the assault. A child therapist can provide the much needed treatment for this wounded child and help to minimize the effects of the abuse, recover and heal and eventually overcome the trauma. Recovering the child’s self esteem, coping with their feelings of guilt with the ultimate goal of reducing the risk that the child will develop significant dysfunctional behavior as an adult are reasons for treatment. A treatment strategy called, Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior Therapy has been used to treat the depression associated with this sexual violation and is short term therapy lasting from 12 to 16 sessions. Individual sessions with the child and with the parent is a focus with relevant joint sessions. During this therapeutic intervention, psych-education is provided about the impact of the child’s trauma as well as relaxation training and, importantly, parental skills training. Cognitive processing or changing perceptions of negative thoughts are provided and importantly the child is given the opportunity to verbalize this tragic experience. The key to successful treatment is the therapists skills and ability to tolerate discussing and understanding the child’s sexual violation. A safe, nonjudgmental environment is crucial for this therapeutic intervention to be successful. With compassion and support, well seasoned clinicians can facilitate the counseling goal of learning to cope with the grief that the child is experiencing along with anger, fear and sadness.

Family involvement and support is crucial in the treatment of sexually violated children. Treating a child in isolation is not productive and the outcome will not be successful. Parents need therapeutic support as well and, most of all, knowledge will give the parent the power to understand the impact of this sexual violation of their child and how they need to react and nurture. An emotionally damaged child usually only spends one hour a week with their therapist but then must return to the family for love, support and appropriate parenting the remainder of the week.

What can we do to prevent this vicious crime and lessen the chance of sexual abuse happening to our own little angels? I will attempt to provide some proactive strategies for review;

*Heed very close attention to your child. Learn to understand the “language of their eyes.” Pay attention and become an expert in your capacity to recognize your child’s reaction to unusual events such as when they are frightened or hiding something and when they need assistance but are fearful in asking for help.

*Do not over-react to situations because you might increase your child’s reluctance to reveal when something is frightening or shameful.

*Plan on checking in on your child’s events, lessons, sports practices, play dates at unexpected times. The rationale for this suggestion is that if there is, indeed, a predator in that environment, this person will be most conscious of your presence and will not risk getting caught doing anything inappropriate . As described in an earlier blog article, pedophiles do “groom” their prey or victims quite skillfully.

* Do tell your child, in age appropriate terms, that “If someone tries to touch your body and do something that makes you feel uncomfortable, say No! to that person and immediately tell me.” Make sure that they know that they will not get into trouble and the truth is safe with you.

*Do teach your child that respect does not mean blind obedience to adult and authority figures. Instruct them that if they are told to do something that does not feel good to immediately report this to you.

In essence, Child Sexual Abuse Prevention Programs should be provided in all schools and community organizations and parents should promote the existence of such a prevention approach to reduce the number of victims of this horrible crime. Pediatricians and Family/Primary Physicians should also work towards the promotion of these programs for parents and children. In addition, parents should be cognizant of the behavioral symptoms outlined in this article as well as in previous blog articles on this site. If there is any suspicion of child sexual abuse, parents should seek a psychological consultation to rule out the occurrence of this incident. Knowledge is Power!

Please do let us hear your voice to this blog since I do so want to know your feelings.

Child Sex Abuse: A Hidden Epidemic? ………KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!………..


As promised in my last article, CHILD SEX ABUSE: PLEASE DON’T BLAME THE VICTIM! which was widely read, I am now providing the statistics or numbers on this sexual epidemic as well as the emotional outcome to the child.  If this were a medical rather than a psychological incident, sexual abuse would be officially labeled an epidemic and people would be using masks or seeking vaccinations. The use of the term “epidemic” is not relevant  if merely one child is violated however, it is an epidemic in the eyes of the victim as well as the family.  Indeed, child sex abuse is a widespread problem with statistics of one in four girls and one in six boys who are violated sexually before the age of eighteen. It has been reported that up to 80,000 cases per year do occur in our own country.  Unfortunately, the majority of sexually violated children, only one in twenty cases, are identified and reported to law enforcement agencies. These hidden victims or children are not provided with mental health support, legal representation and bear lifelong emotional scars. These scars are exhibited as a disruption in child development and significant anxiety, depression (related to Post Traumatic Stress Depression) and future drug and alcohol addiction to anesthetize the profound pain and trauma.

When silence is exhibited by the sexually abused child, the pedophile may be someone the child trusts and admires and has difficulty perceiving that person in a negative way. The child tends to blame his or her self and could be fearful of the threatening actions of the pedophile to harm the child or the family if disclosure occurs.

This horrific violation of a child’s body and spirit provokes feelings of powerlessness in the child and precipitates a belief of having little control over the actions or outcomes. The abuse of the child in being used as a sex object to satisfy the pedophile’s psychotic needs is a casual factor in the belief of the child that he or she  is worthless, devalued and these feelings result in lifelong dysfunctions in the establishment of intimate relationships as an adult. Sexual abuse causes children to believe that this violation of their undeveloped bodies is their fault and they tend to blame themselves for this hideous crime.

Child sexual abuse not only robs children of their precious childhood but can have long term emotional effects that are evidenced when they reach adulthood such as; depression , anxiety, PTSD, eating disorders, obesity, alcohol and drug abuse, self destructive behaviors such as cutting and the probability of being sexually re-victimized as an adult.  A young victim may become withdrawn and mistrustful of adults or become overly sexualized , overly aggressive , a fixation or addiction to pornography  and finally, suicidal thoughts and behaviors. The causal factors of these dysfunctional behavior patterns is the attempt to exhibit some control over their life, self hate, anger at the world that doesn’t protect them, anesthetizing their emotional pain and escaping from the reality of sexual violation.

No child is physically and  psychologically prepared to cope with repeated premature sexual stimulation and survive without prominent and destructive outcomes. As noted in the research, even a three year old child, who barely knows that sexual activity is unnatural at that stage of development, will display  dysfunctions as a result of the inability to cope with the over stimulation.

It is hoped that these words and statistics will enlighten and provide a deeper understanding of this epidemic of child sexual violation. In my next article on this topic, I will be providing readers with research and information on intervention and prevention of child sexual abuse. Please do let me hear your voice and opinions which may also help others who could be directly or indirectly effected by this epidemic. There is no mask nor vaccination to prevent this criminal behavior inflicted on our “little angels”, only  the use of the motto,  ” Knowledge Is Power”, our only weapon to defend and protect our children.






Please do not call this beautiful, tearful victimized child a slut, a pervert or a sex object, names that fathers,  bullying classmates and others have labeled children who are the sex objects, rather than human beings, of pedophiles. I am basing this blog on a real victim of this horrific sex crime that occurs regularly and society blames the victim unless she has been bruised, bloodied and batterer by her predator. This victim was not violently attacked but “Groomed” by the pedophile, a well practiced technique to capture their prey. In my next blog, you will be provided with astounding statistics on the frequency of this crime.

What is this thing called “Grooming” ? Pedophiles will locate a site such as a school yard and observe and target his next victim based on his  innate sense of observing behavioral  clues indicating patterns of loneliness, peer rejection and, of course, sexual attractiveness and appeal. This victim, of which I speak, is an exceptionally attractive, mature,  very young teen with a warm and trusting behavioral characteristic.  During the grooming process, the pedophile will befriend his victim as well as those who surround her but keeps his “eye on the prize”, the victim.  Fake trustworthiness is developed in which he  secretly ,subtly and gradually escalates to a level of intense trust and friendship with his prey. Boundaries  are tested and risks are taken in moving in for the kill by entering her social circles such as crashing a social event amongst other befriended children. The introduction of drugs and alcohol can be another weapon in capturing his prey and provoking uninhibited behavior. It should be noted that a pedophile, who maintains the appearance so close in age to his victim and her peers, utilizes this as distinct advantage and may precipitate a romantic relationship in order to seduce this child into a new and inexperienced world of sex. A youthful, attractive photo of this particular pedophile has appeared in an earlier blog on this topic after his capture by the police. Indeed, a mature man is seducing a child with a brain that is not completely developed to understand and formulate the judgement for such actions.

In addition to the introduction of drugs and alcohol to a child, pedophiles may use pornographic materials, love messages, photos and  enticing notes for his victim. Ultimately, this perpetrator had captured his prey, introducing  sexual experiences and most of all , used his emotional weaponry , using bullets of fake love, social acceptance, compassionate understanding and ego enhancing strategies to debilitate his prey. Most children who are victims of child sex abuse are desperately  seeking the love and support that is not provided within the family. They are hungry for someone to adore them, listen to them and provide them with total attention and  ego validation that they so need but are denied. This pedophile did fulfilled all of these dreams with insincere love , sexual attention and excitement into an empty and lonely life. Now, this pedophile will go in for the kill and capture his prey, one of many that this primitive hunter has  destroyed.

This story does not end happily since the child instinctually feels the discomfort of this unnatural relationship and the pedophile uses his ultimate bullet to destroy the victim. He uses his weapons of guilt, fear and threats to “bullet proof” his crime. In this story, the victim appears to have suffered from the “Stockholm Syndrome” in which an innocent  prey tends to identify with her captor. She begins to develop strong feelings of false love and attachment and the need to obey his directives related to his self protection if ever discovered by the authorities. This perpetrator did have a history of serial sexual abuse since the prior victim was a ten year old, male family member and, hence he  understood well the consequences of being captured rather than  that of his prey.

Due to the love and support of a devoted mother ,as opposed to a father that displaced his  rage and anger on his daughter in labeling her “slut”, this child did find the courage to assist the police in locating and arresting this pedophile. She, indeed, protected potential victims from this evil demon who, as clinical research documents, will repeat his crime and hunt for yet other victims. Unfortunately, our legal system protects the perpetrator and not the victim by sentencing this criminal and rapist to under two years in prison with a lifetime of emotional imprisonment of the victim. Yes, he will be released  shortly and begin his hunting and grooming activities once again. Parents, do beware! There are thousands of demons just like this sexual hunter in your child’s world.

In my next articles on this topic, I will share with you the symptoms and suffering of children who are victims of sex abuse as well as share my research on the  statistics of this crime and, importantly, the  prevention of this horrific crime. Do share your feelings on this blog and let me hear your voice!