Bullies exhibit a distinctive pattern of harming and humiliating others who are smaller in stature, weaker, younger or in any way more vulnerable than the bully. Bullying  is a deliberate and repeated attempt to cause harm to others with less power. Bullies are made not born and this destructive behavior happens at an early age. Bullies lack empathy and are incapable of understanding the feelings and anxiety  of others . These troubled individuals could not project their aggressive behavior without victims and they target those who lack assertiveness, are generally fearful and exhibit a poor self esteem. Child bullies continue this behavior pattern into adulthood and abuse others such as spouses, off spring and co-workers.

According to research, bullies may have been victims of abuse themselves and exhibit a low self esteem, depression and continue to suffer with mental health problems throughout their adult lives. Seventy-four  percent of bullies are males who suffer the most from emotional problems. Nearly 200,000 children engage in bullying world wide every year.

Children who bully may be victims of physical, emotional  and verbal violence or aggression in the family.  They displace their aggression toward others including adults. They assault or physically abuse peers, have trouble following rules and show little empathy for others. According to research, bullies are at risk for failing academically and becoming involved in drugs and illegal activities. In essence, bullying behavior is a “red flag” that a child has significant difficulty in controlling their aggression and has failed to master this skill.

Bullies beget bullies! It is most likely that a child who is a bully has a parental role model and has sustained abuse and emotional neglect  within the family. This child displaces to peers the aggression exhibited within the family . The absence of empathy for others is also a result of the lack of nurturing of this victim, the bully.

Can you identify someone who demonstrates these patterns of behavior? When the child bully matures conceivably, they may become the spouse and child abusers that we read about in the media. The adult bully may very well be found in your work environment and targeting victims as described above. Knowledge is Power and you must be aware of these perpetrators who can only change through mental health intervention. If this bully resides in your home wether it be a child or an adult, enabling this dangerous and destructive individual is not advised. Do seek outside intervention such as counseling or even reporting any abuse to the authorities which will ultimately help the bully to find the help that is so needed.

Do share “whatsyourfeeling” on this blog post with those that might need to hear your voice.

As noted in my last Blog, I will be providing crucial information on the emotional and physical damage that a pedophile inflicts upon their victims. Child sex abuse can result in both short term and long term harm to a child including psychopathology in later life. The following emotional disorders are evident either immediately or later on in their development;   Depression , significant anxiety, eating disorders, poor self esteem, sleep disturbances and post traumatic stress syndrome. Some children may regress in their behavior such as thumb sucking and bedwetting. Others may act out their sexual violation by sexually acting out and exhibiting inappropriate sexual knowledge and interest. These violated children may withdrawn from school and school activities and demonstrate learning and behavioral problems, attention deficit disorder and defiant oppositional disorder. Teenage pregnancy and risky sexual behaviors may appear during adolescent. Children who have been sexual abused are four times as likely to engage in self inflicting harm to themselves.

The social stigma of sexual child abuse may compound the psychological harm to children They experience shame and peer abuse and bullying associated  with community knowledge of this sexual assault . Hence, blaming the victim. Adverse outcomes are less likely for sexually abused children who have a supportive and compassionate family system.

The treatment for these abused victims is family therapy, individual therapy and medication. The prognosis for recovery can be successful if the effects of this abuse is acknowledged and addressed and precautions are taken to prevent such a violation to occur again. Victims of sex abuse have lost their trust for others and need to be part of a treatment plan. Victims may not trust themselves and they bare the guilt for their victimization and feel like “damaged goods”. A common behavioral reaction is overly sexualized behavior. Victims may dress and act in a sexual manner even if they are children. Sexualized behavior  effects their life negatively and can attract repeated, unwanted pedophile attention. All of these behavioral dysfunctions can be addressed through regular therapy and possible medication.

What is being done to eradicate this horrific crime? The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child is an international treaty that legally obliges states to protect children’s rights. States are required to protect children from all forms of child sexual abuse and sexual exploitation . This treaty protects children all over the world. However, such legislation can only be effective if pedophiles are reported and incarcerated .

Yes, your child may be the object of sexual predators who frequent the social gathering sites of children! They are searching for their prey to entice and capture by their skillful methods. These perpetrators are hunters finding innocent children to lure them into their sexual dens of perverted satisfactions of their obsessive needs to violate the bodies of these precious children.

Yes, do take heed because these sexual predators are lurking in locations where your little angels congregate particularly if they are in the age group of 10 to 13 years of age. Let me begin with the startling statistics that have been reported. During the year of 2012, there were 69,939 cases of child sexual abuse reported and in the following four years, the numbers may have risen. It should be noted that the key word in these statistics is “reported cases” and not calculated are the number of cases that are yet to be recognized and treated. According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics National Criminal Victimization Survey, in 2012, there were 346,830 reports of rapes of persons 12 years or older.  In essence , at least 20% of  victims are females. Only about 10% of perpetrators are strangers to the child.In my next blog on this subject, I will provide information on who these sex offenders are and how they use the technique of Grooming their victims.

The formal definition of child sex abuser is when an adult uses a child for sexual stimulation and engages in sexual activities by pressuring his victim to comply with his sexual demands. Most child sexual abuse is committed by men and 60% are perceived by the child as an acquaintance .

The word, “pedophile” is commonly applied to anyone who sexually abuses a child for sexual gratification.The American Psychological Association states that “children cannot consent to sexual activity with adults.” ” An adult who engages in sexual activity with a child is performing a criminal and immoral act which never can be considered normal or socially acceptable behavior.”

A recent sexual assault by a pedophile to a child that is close to me did correlate with all of the facts and statistics provided in this blog and he utilized the technique of Grooming his victim which I will describe in my next blog. This pedophile , photographed above, who is twenty years old ,befriend a child of thirteen and, in spite of his age, was accepted within her peer group. He gained her trust and met her needs of companionship, unending compliments and his trust. The use of alcohol was introduced and encouraged in order to uninhibited her impulses. After his seduction , he did caution her against revealing his actions and attempted to sever parent bonding. It should be noted that a child’s cognitive brain development and the development of mature decision making is not fully evolved at that young age and an adult can, indeed, manipulate and provoke inappropriate behavior.

This victim of  statutory rape was also raped of her privacy and reputation by her local newspaper who assigned a staff reporter to attend the trial of this pedophile and used the incomplete contents of the police report to write her article . Unfortunately, this reporter presented this child as a consensual sex partner and did not report on the fact that this pedophile also committed other sex crimes, one with a twelve year old boy. She blamed the victim and this child was depicted as a slut without parental supervision. As a result of public knowledge of the unnamed victim who was identified by community gossip and the news article, was traumatized and chopped off all her gorgeous hair . Her mother was ostracized and berated by other parents in her social environment and labeled an unfit mother who did not supervise her daughter. These accusations were most untrue if one truly knew the social history of this family and child. Yes, the media  also assaulted this victim of sex abuse by not reporting the story in it’s entirety.

Please do read my next blog in which I will provide facts and information on the Grooming techniques of pedophiles, the emotional damage that victims exhibit and how parents can protect their children from this heinous crime.