BULLIES AND HOW THEY EFFECT LIVES

If a survey were taken on the existence of a bully in our lives, including adulthood, I believe that we each had to deal with such a bully who provoked much pain and suffering in our lives. What is the definition of a bully? It is defined as a form of aggressive behavior in which someone intentionally and repeatedly causes another person injury and discomfort. Bullying can take the form of physical contact, words or more subtle actions. The victim of a bully typically has trouble defending themselves and does nothing to provoke the abuse. Bullying occurs in schools, workplaces, homes and playgrounds. As noted in current media reports, the violence that has been reported in our schools have been inflicted by those victims of of earlier abuse themselves and are displacing their anger upon innocent victims, children as well as adults. Over 3.2 million students are effected by bullying each year and 17% of child victims report bullying two to three times a month.

As an author and psychologist , I have focused my quest on addressing and reducing this bullying dilemma in our society. My latest book, NICKI NICE’S BULLY, is one in a children’s series on the topic of bullying in our schools. The main character, Nicki, describes to young readers what a bully does, why and how to change this frightening behavior. To learn more about this book, I do invite you to visit my website, nickinicesbully.tateautor.com Knowledge is power and sharing this book with a child would be a gift of love.

It is hoped that you will share with me, “what’s your feeling” about bullies and if you have been a victim or, perhaps, witnessed this violent behavior as a child or an adult. I will be posting more blogs on this topic on facts and media reports on bullying.

The Painful and Ugly Words of Bullyism ( resubmitted due to image editing)

photo of bully poster

As the above poster depicts, words can be painful and destructive weapons inflicted on a victim who will bleed emotionally. The media has provided much information on bullyism within our schools and playgrounds and how our children are wounded and permanently scared by such a painful experience. Indeed, adults are also victims in this world of evil, dysfunctional people who demean and humiliate us and damage our self image.

Adult bullying frequently does occur in the work setting in the form of sexual harassment and sexist behaviors towards female workers. Such bullying provokes a sense of helplessness and the embarrassment of seeking support from superiors for fear of job loss or denial of promotions. Persistent and unending bullying and abuse is a causal factor of depression and medical problems associated with stress. Adult bullyism also occurs within the home and in relationships within the family. As noted in the graphic on this post, the woman featured exhibits much fear and the need to protect herself physically and emotionally.Is that you?

I am sure that there are many readers who have experienced adult bullyism and need to voice their fears and sense of degradation by a bully who is suppose to love and respect them. Yes, men can also be victims of bullyism and should not feel shame in revealing such a dysfunctional behavior pattern in our world inflicted upon you by wounded bullies who displace their pain upon others. Let me hear your voice and what you are feeling, the theme of this blog.

In future postings, I will continue to discuss adult bullyism and childhood bullies will be presented at a later date. Research on these topics and strategies in resolving bullyism will be provided one blog at a time, one soul at a time.

Bullyism and How it effects lives

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I now will begin my posts on the topic of BULLYISM and end my discussions on RACISM. This “ism” is equally as destructive as the cancer of racism and is as violent and hateful as the actions and beliefs of those who are afflicted with this dysfunctional and violent disorder.

Upon my research on the compilation of the definitions of BULLYISM, the American Psychological Association ( of which I am a clinical member) their definition of this behavior is that it is a form of aggressive behavior in which someone intentionally and repeatedly causes another person injury or discomfort. Bullying can take the form of physical contact, words or more subtle action. The bullied individual typically has trouble defending him or herself and does nothing to “cause” the bullying.

In future posts, I will provide additional definitions of this term, bullyism. As noted in the above definition, bullyism is not just focused on the behavior of children but can also be applied to adults. I will describe the various types of bullyism such as verbal, social, physical and cyberbullism.

The graphics noted above do provoke the feelings and depictions of the concept of bullys and hopefully will whet your interest in this topic. I will also, in the following posts, describe my next children’s book, NICKI NICE’S BULLY, which does introduce the young reader to a new friend who helps the child understand bullys and the cause of their hurtful behavior.At the end of this book, Nicki Nice does help the reader find a way to cope with a bully and change his behavior. This book will be the first of five series of books on Nicki Nice, a nice friend, who will inform young readers about learning problems, divorce, sibling rivalry and a death in the family. Nicki Nice’s views are represented by the experiences and opinions of my granddaughter, Nicole. Yes, I will be posting on all of those topics in my future Blogs.

It is hoped that you will let us hear your voice and what you are feeling about adult bullies in your life and, perhaps, in the life of your children and grandchildren.